Making Language Necessary

Creating social situations that encourage language use

Last Saturday we had a proper "Chinese immersion day".

Following our usual routine of Chinese activity group for the older daughter, and the singing class for me and the younger one, we had a playdate lunch with a Polish-Chinese friend.

As a bonus, while waiting in a cafe, we bumped into another friend from singing class with her mom and grandmother —which gave me an unexpected chance to practice my own Chinese when the girl went to the bathroom with her mom.

I want to share with you some reflections from watching my daughters, and myself, interact in this less than comfortable language.

What I noticed

1. Necessity triggers language use - While my daughter doesn't typically play with her friend in Chinese, she started using simple Chinese phrases with the boy's mother - names of objects, "look!", "don't have" etc. The social situation created a genuine need to communicate (and maybe to show off a little bit).

2. Younger siblings join when there's purpose - Even more surprisingly, my younger daughter, whose exposure to Chinese has been quite limited, spontaneously repeated Chinese words after her older sister. The playful context gave her a real reason to engage with the language.

3. Adults learn best when there's no alternative - For me personally, being alone with a Chinese grandmother who didn't speak English created a situation where I had to use my basic Chinese. We either would sit in awkward silence or I could push myself to communicate. This "no way out" situation became my most effective language practice.

Creating necessary language practice opportunities

Here are some practical ways to create situations where using your target language becomes necessary rather than optional:

✅ Arrange strategic playdates
Connect with families who speak your target language. The social context naturally creates communication needs that encourage language use. It doesn‘t matter if your child speaks or not — just being exposed to that context makes them absorb more than you think.

✅ Create "no escape" situations
Look for settings where using the target language becomes necessary — like ordering at a restaurant that primarily serves speakers of your target language or joining community events where the target language dominates.

✅ Introduce language-specific activities
Find games or activities that work better in the target language, giving children authentic reasons to use those words and phrases.

✅ Connect with monolingual speakers
Time with relatives or friends who only speak the target language creates natural necessity for communication.

✅ Join interest-based groups
Classes or hobby groups conducted in the target language combine passion with purpose, making language use a natural byproduct rather than the primary focus.

Your turn

📊 Quick Poll: What motivates your child to use their target language most?

💭 Reflection:

• When was the last time your child had no choice but to use their target language? How did they respond to this necessity?

• Would love to hear your experiences with creating language necessity! As always, feel free to reply with your thoughts or questions.

Happy language adventures,

Magda

P.S. If you know other parents on a multilingual journey who might find this helpful, please share this newsletter with them!